Opposition of Fleshy Parts

It happened folks. After dinner the other night, while sitting in the most comfortable chair in the world. I sighed the sigh of a man who ate the absolute best combination of chicken pot pie, ice cream and coke and then, without the aid of conscious thought ... I unbuttoned my pants.

The feeling! I was relieved! I could breathe! Sit comfortably!

And now I must lose at least 5 pounds. Now, here's the deal. I must lose the weight. Why? Why conform to a society so critical in its judgment of physical appearance? Why not love me for me?

Why?

Because I can't afford it. I can't afford new pants. That's like ... at least 10 pairs of pants! And it's summer season so that's pants and shorts!!

Plus I miss being able to bend over and ...

tie my shoes. There's just too much flesh in opposition of itself and it has got to go.

So, stay tuned. I'm losing weight.

If I Don't Get to Punch Someone, Why am I Paying So Much Money?!

So today my trainer informed me I have two sessions left in my training package. When I asked if there was some sort of culminating experience to commemorate the occaision he just looked at me, the same way he looks at me when I say, "20 reps? You're kidding right?" or "Run 2 miles? That's funny!" So, I decided to take a shot ... "How about, on our last day, I get to punch you in the gut?"

It was worth a shot right?

Anyway, I'm making my way back home for a few days ... look for some blogs (and some pics, hopefully) from the Land of Enchantment. It'll be hott.