Now, That's What I Call Advising

Daniel: So, I told the student, come back to my office and we can talk about what you can do with a specific major.

Lizzette (obsessed with military men): I'll show you what you can do with a Major.

Overheard at lunch.

The Restraining Order is On Its Way

Melissa intently sending herself a text on Daniel's phone.

[2 seconds pass]

Melissa's phone notifies here she has a text message.

Melissa reading text message with look of disgust on her face: Oh my God, Daniel, quit texting me!

Overheard in Rosie's living room.

And Darling, It Looks Fabulous!

Daniel talking intently with Kevin: Really?

Melissa: Hey! I'm part of this conversation too!

Daniel: But he's prettier.

Melissa: But, I cut my hair...

Overheard in Rosie's kitchen.

At Least You Can Stand By Your Decision

Ann-Marie: Are you an Obama or Clinton supporter?

Steve: Well, I don't really care as long as one of them wins. But I think I'm more aligned with Obama.

Ann-Marie: Why?

Steve: For the most inappropriate reasons. I think he's charismatic and can inspire people. But I know he has shit for experience.

Overheard in Ann-Marie's Office.

Not Before He Kicks Your Ass

Alfredo: Where is my mentor today?

Ann-Marie: Daniel?

Alfredo: Yeah.

Ann-Marie: He's out sick.

Alfredo: [deadpan] Is he going to die?

Overheard in Ann-Marie's Office

Who's Your Daddy?

Daniel: Heath Ledger died.

Ann-Marie: Shut up!

Daniel: I'm serious.

Ann-Marie: No.

Daniel: Yes.

Ann-Marie: No!

Daniel: Why is this so upsetting?

Ann-Marie: Because his child is going to be father-less.

Greogria: Is father-less. There's no coming back from that one.

Overheard in Ann-Marie's office.

Don't Say I Never Offered You Anything

Tim: I was gonna give this dozen roses to this girl I liked, but I decided not to. Do you want them?

Ann-Marie: If anyone's gonna give me 12 of anything it's gonna be inches.

Overheard in Tammy's office.

She's Kinky Like That

Daniel (To Ann-Marie as she's riding her wheel chair down the hall): Has anyone ever stuck a broomstick in your wheel as you're rolling?

Ann-Marie: Yeah, it's called 'foreplay.'

Overheard in the Advising Center hallway.

Now playing on the Launchcast: Joga by Bjork

There's a scale, honey.

Jennifer: You graduated from NMSU? Why?

Yvette: He got his bachelor's there.

Jennifer: Do you still live there?

Daniel: No, I live in the Northeast now.

Jennifer: [Disapproving face] You're not even making progress.

Overheard at Yvette's desk.

Yeah, Let Me Check On That

Angel: I'll email it to you.

Daniel: Okay, but my email isn't working, they actually took my access away for the day.

Angel: Are you sure you work here?

Overheard in Angel's Office.

On the Yahoo! Launchcast: Blue Lines by Massive Attack

At Least They Kept it Out of the Showers

Daniel: Are you 4 rooming together?

Two freshmen, pointing at each other: No, we're together.

Freshman, standing behind them: We know you're together - you've been screaming it all year.

Overheard in the queue line at room draw.

Brian Likes His Cake

Christy: You got invited? All they told me was 'Don't eat the cake.' (To Brian after Brian revealed he was invited to a retirement part at Christy's office)

Overheard at staff meeting.

Marzipan is Such a Great Influence

Zach: That's disgusting. And I don't like your outfit. (To Rachel in reference to her wanting to dip her pickles in her au jous)

Overheard at Quizno's.

Where Do I Get in Line?!

Brian: Hey Jeff, would you like me to toss your salad?

Overheard at the Olive Garden.

Meanwhile, the window is wide open ...

Daniel: Do you have cramps? Would you like me to massage your ovaries?

Jenn: No!

Daniel: Dry hump?

Jenn: No!

Daniel: I'm an excellent ovary massager, Wilson, tell Jenn I'm an excellent ovary massager.

Wilson: Do you even know where the ovaries are?

Daniel: I would assume they're in this general region [points to pelvis].

Wilson: Yeah, well ... you know what she could really use is a heating pad.

Jenn: I'm fine. I have cramps but they're well managed by all the Motrin I took.

Wilson: Oh, okay. Do you have a tipped uterus?

Daniel: I can check that out for you.

Wilson: There's a three finger test.

Daniel: I have three fingers.

Wilson: I don't know which fingers, though. And I'm sure it's done from the outside.

Daniel: Like a shocker?

But I bet your tongue likes it ...

Brian: These Doritos really are nacho cheesier. I'm not sure how my colon feels about that.

Overheard at the Hop during lunch.

The "Overheard" Feature

I decided that once a week I would add a post that includes a compilation of quotes and conversations that made me laugh that week. To start it off,

Ben: My high school was the kind where everyone drove BMWs and Mercedes-Benz.

Jenna: In high school, I had a bus pass.

Overheard at a UGA function.