In Dreamland v12

i was at a photo shoot for a group of college students. i really wanted to be in the photo with them, but no other administrators were, so i stayed back. then they needed someone to actually push the button on the camera to take the photo so i volunteered to do that. i was ready to take the picture but we had to stop and wait for a group of athletes to come back from fighting a volcano. while i was waiting i looked out of the window. we were in a high rise and i could see the roller coasters from western playland in the distance only it wasn't really western playland becuase they only have one.

The Make Up Is Not Going to Help. Believe Me.

I never understand what synapses are (mis)firing when women decide to put on their make up in the car while they're driving. A) Your hair is big enough already, you don't need more hairspray. B) At least move into a lane that is NOT the far left lane - that lane is for me to pass you and leave your ozone depleting, aqua net dependent, that which would make bon-jovi circa 1987 jealous mane of fur you call hair behind.

Current music: Cold Cold Heart by Norah Jones
Music that got me through traffic this morning:

In Dreamland v11.1

gregoria and i were arguing about something in a classroom. she insisted one thing and i insisted on another. except it wasn't really arguing because she wasn't even looking at me. she just kept repeating her information, ignoring me.

In Dreamland v11

i was at a new year's eve party in a fancy club. by fancy i mean, i had to wear a suit. the only reason i had gone to this party was because i got a text from xavier saying he would be there and i should show up. so i did. i eventually got so bored i ended up laying on a couch watching tv. then xavier walked in and said "you look excited" and just kept walking. i got up and went to the bartender who was the bartender from the cruise i went on summer 2005. he gave me a drink and winked telling me it was only $4.50. he told me it was some sort of brandy and coke cocktail. i went upstairs to look for xavier and the bar on the 2nd floor seemed very dull. after i really started looking at people it wasn't that they were boring, they were snobs. i ordered the same drink i had at the 1st floor bar and the bartender charged me $23. i said never mind and ordered a well rum and coke. that was $2. everyone was smoking cigars and the artwork was actually bottles of alcohol for sale, the least expensive being $233. i never found xavier.

You Glance With Your Head, Not the Whole Car!

We turned on the air conditioner in the truck while driving around El Paso yesterday. Ha, bitches!

PS - WTF is up with people not checking their blind spots when merging or switching lanes in traffic these days?! Drivers on the east side suck.

Current music: Valerie, by Amy Winehouse
Music that got me through traffic this morning:



And PPS - WTF is up with boy bands always having a creepy goateed guy?

Lesbians 1, Cops/Soldiers -3

*Flashback*
When Wilson and I first moved back to El Paso we went to Wal-Mart to buy a few household odds and ends (cheap stuff we could use while we unpacked...okay, okay, we needed toilet paper because I hadn't pooped since Tucumcari). Anyway, we left the dogs to their own devices - Roswell to wander around the house and Bruno in his cage. We arrived from our Wal-Mart excursion to find that Bruno had broken out of his cage and torn down the mini blinds in the bedroom and living room. I tell you this story to bring you to ...

*Today*
Wilson and I finally moved out of the old apartment today. We've been in the new house for a week now, but have been unavoidably detained from cleaning out the rest of the house (he with his studying, me with ... well, tennis.) Anyway, so remember way back during the first paragraph I talked about the blinds being torn down? Yeah, well we never got around to fixing those when they were broken in July, so now we need a new set of blinds. So first thing we need to do is measure the window. One problem, we packed the tape measure. That's okay, we'll just borrow one from the neighbor soldier upstairs. Except he wasn't home. That's okay, we'll just borrow one from the other neighbor soldier upstairs. Except he didn't have one. That's okay, we'll just borrow one from the neighbor cop upstairs. Except he didn't have one either.

So just as I was about the measure the window with a 13x9 inch glass casserole dish (and don't even ask me why that was still unpacked) I remembered the last person we knew in the building - the lesbian that lives down the way. Ta-da! She was home and Ta-Da! she had a tape measure!

So that's the end of the story, kids.

Oh and I sincerely apologize to the Nissan pick up that was behind me on the 375 when the baby gate/doggie gate flew out of the back of *my* Nissan pick up as I was going 65 mph.

Current music: Melodramatic score to some cartoon that's on TV right now.

Who's Your Daddy?

Daniel: Heath Ledger died.

Ann-Marie: Shut up!

Daniel: I'm serious.

Ann-Marie: No.

Daniel: Yes.

Ann-Marie: No!

Daniel: Why is this so upsetting?

Ann-Marie: Because his child is going to be father-less.

Greogria: Is father-less. There's no coming back from that one.

Overheard in Ann-Marie's office.

In Dreamland v10

At work I was talking to Sakeena. All of a sudden, Janet Jackson's "You Want This" came on and we broke out into a choreographed skit.

In Dreamland v9

I was at work when a group of soldier walked in. Lizzette saw them and all of a sudden burst into song. The whole Advising Center turned into a musical a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer in "Once More With Feeling." Lizzette started singing "Clumsy" by Fergie and the male peer advisors were her back up dancers/singers.

Houses and Traffic

We got a new house!

I say "got" as in we're renting it, not purchasing, but still!! We have a garage and a yard and an actual laundry ROOM (as opposed to closet).

The only down side is it's in Horizon City which is just east of El Paso proper. It's a down side mostly because I work on the WEST side. Me and I-10 are going to be the bestest of friends!

To be honest I don't completely mind the commute. I figure it's just me giving back as for the last 6 years I lived and worked on campus and my commute was me opening my apartment door and walking down the hall.

Wooo!

Current music: None. Just Veronica Burgess talking really loudly on the phone.
Music that got me through traffic this morning: "Gimme More (Kaskade Mix)" by Britney Spears.

Psshhhh

Well, so much for that.

I Resolve!

Here's my December 19th Resolution:
A new post everyday!!

I was just informed it was almost 0 degrees in New Hampshire. ALMOST! Ha! Meanwhile I walked the dog in a hoodie with no beenie or gloves. I love it.

'Twas a busy weekend. Lots of graduations, lots of beer. I went out to watch the Liars in Las Cruces on Friday and decided that instead of liquor I would have beer. It was cheaper, I didn't get nearly as buzzed (which was good) and I only spent $10. Not all that bad, I say. Only I screamed the lyrics to "Footloose" and "Love Shack" and my throat hasn't quite recovered. I'm not happy about it, but I guess it was all worth it - Rosie slapped two guys while we were there. Very amusing.

I'll cut this one short, time to clean the kitchen and go to bed!

Traffic Music Godsend: "Ramble On" by Led Zepplin.

In Dreamland v8.1

i was in my current bedroom in el paso, tx with my mom and my aunt monica. we were talking about my aunt's medical issues. no one else seemed to care very much. then she started bleeding. i broke down and asked my mom why she hadn't gone to the doctor. my mom said she had and that her doctor said there was nothing he could do about it. it was something related to her chest, which i didn't understand. so i confronted my aunt and asked her why she didn't go to another doctor. she said she couldn't afford another doctor and she had her family's expenses to think about. all of a sudden we were at my grandmother's house in columbus, nm. she was looking out the window and asked if i wanted to go party with the people in the hotel across the street. they were from des moines, iowa.

In Dreamland v8

i was back in hanover with my aunt monica and uncle dan. only the campus was a cross between dartmouth's campus and that of indiana university of pennsylvania. i was under the impression i was there to serve as a tour guide; however, as i soon realized anytime i asked them a question or pointed out something of interest, i was ignored.

In Dreamland v7

we all got our paychecks at the same time. we noticed we were all paid less than usual. a lot less. someone said "there are zeros missing from my paycheck."

someone else said "it must be all the cutbacks."

Wicked Karma, part 2

Earlier this evening I set off to the grocery store. My sole mission - a small onion and some garlic.

Then I saw an orange and thought I could take it for lunch tomorrow. Then I remembered Wilson was out of sugar. The I saw one of those plastic floppy cutting boards and figured we could use one. Then I wanted a diet coke.

Okay, so finally I get to the check out counter - my six items and I were in the "15 or Fewer Items" line. Behind a woman with 17 items (yes, I counted). This, of course, annoyed me. Then, she she added the straw that broke this camel's back. A bag of Dorito's from the impulse buy section.

Are you still with me? That's 18 items. In the 15 or Fewer Line!! She, in a neighborly way, looked at me and smiled. All I could hear was "I know I have 18 items, but I'm in front of you and you can't do anything about it because the cashier just scanned my first box of Betty Crocker chocolate cake mix." So I looked at her. Looked at her items. Looked at the sign that said "15 or Fewer Items," then looked right at her.

She knew I meant business.

So she bagged her items and carried them out of the store. All 18 of them.

So I get up the cashier and she begins scanning my items (my 6 items, may I remind you). Then (this is where the karma kicks in) ...

I didn't have my wallet.

So along with my onion, my garlic, my sugar, my cutting board, my orange and diet coke, I had me a nice slice of humble pie.

In Dreamland v6

i was in a large parking lot, looking for my car. i was parked in section "H" but the only sections i could find were "BFE" and "WTF."

In Dreamland v5

i was a detective on law and order:svu and i was listening to a phone call from this guy saying he was going to rape her again ... it was on an episode the other night.

Don't Say I Never Offered You Anything

Tim: I was gonna give this dozen roses to this girl I liked, but I decided not to. Do you want them?

Ann-Marie: If anyone's gonna give me 12 of anything it's gonna be inches.

Overheard in Tammy's office.

Equal Opportunity Patronization

In an annual presidential address to the University of Texas at El Paso community, Dr. Diana Natalicio released, on September 1, 2007, the University's statement on Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action and University Policy Statement.

In this statement, Dr. Natalicio outlines UTEP's protected classes, which are: race, color, national origin, sex, religion, age, veteran status, sexual orientation, or disability. Yes, my friends, sexual orientation. Pretty amazing considering we're in the state of Texas, right?

Upon further research, however, I have found that, as published in UTEP's EO & AA Office Brochure (page 2), the University is very quick to point out that sexual orientation is not protected under state and federal law.

What does this mean, exactly? It means that UTEP can claim to be non-discriminitory in regards to sexual orientation, however, there is no legistlation or precedent to actually hold them accountable to this policy.

As stated by a UTEP Human Resources representative during Employee Orientation, gay couples may not claim their domestic partners as a dependent, therefore those partners are not eligible for university benefits.

Really? Even though Dr. Natalicio's memo clearly states, "The University's commitment to equal opportunity principles applies to all aspects of employment, including recruitment, promotion, compensation, benefits, and training?"

Yes, really.

The Human Resources Services Frequently Asked Questions page documents that "eligible dependents include your legally married spouse..." Well, guess what folks (loophole alert!) - the gays can't get married in Texas! Well, you may ask, what if I, a gay man, and my partner, another gay man, got married in Massachusetts, where it is legal? You guessed it - another loophole alert! - Texas (and in turn, UTEP) won't recognize that legal document thanks to DOMA.

So what does this all mean? I'll tell you - it means that UTEP can lure gay and lesbian (and bisexual ... we won't include transgender folks as the policy clearly states "sexual orientation" and not "gender identity") applicants under the guise of equal opportunity when really it is just a fallacy.

Would UTEP be so bold as to withhold benefits from say ... a visiting professor from Spain? A black man? An employee with Cerebral Palsy? I guarantee it wouldn't, even though it does choose to discriminate against another member of the so-called protected class list. And is there anything in place from prohibiting the University to be more blatant in it's discrimination? Do gay and lesbian employees really have security in their employment at UTEP as the institution is so bold to publish such a bogus document without the ability to back it up?

Do I really want to take it there? Yes, and here's why - this list is used as recruiting tool. Natalicio herself has written "the University commits itself to increased recruitment efforts to assure that qulified minorities, women, veterans, and individuals with a disability are represnted in the applicant pool..."

UTEP is unabashedly using it's status as the only school in the University of Texas system to include sexual orientation in its non-discrimination policy.

And in response I say - UTEP, do us all a favor (and by us, I mean the university community), don't patronize. It's beneath you and insulting to the rest of us.